Self-Esteem and Confidence

Good self- esteem and confidence is a valuable tool to help lead a healthy and productive life. Self-esteem is necessary for psychological survival. Without some  measure of self worth we may find it difficult to assert ourselves or meet important needs.

You have so much pain inside yourself that you try and hurt yourself on the outside because you want help.

Princess Diana


I think this man might be useful to me -if my black dog returns. He seems nice away from me now- it is such a relief. All the colours come back in to the picture.

Winston Churchhill speaking of his depression.

Grief, Loss and Separation:

Grief is the natural process of reaction and adjustment to loss and change.

General Coping Difficulties and Crisis

I was  always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.

Anna Freud


Anxiety can appear in different forms and at different levels of intensity.

It can range in severity  from a mere twinge of uneasiness to a full – blown panic attack.

All the troubles and anxieties of my life, could not equal the opposition and criticism I have received during the Civil War.

President Abraham Lincoln who is acknowledged to have suffered anxiety for most of his life

Parenting Issues

Looking at parent’s stress  levels can help create a calm home. If a parent is in a good place thaey can react calmly to their children’s  needs.

I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

Diane Loomans

Self – Esteem Expanded

  1. How you feel about yourself influences every aspect of your life.
  2. From the kind of friends you chose to your success in your career.
  3. How you look after yourself in your daily life is an indicater whether you have high , middle or low self – esteem.

Self-esteem in adult life is built on :

  • An awareness of personal rights.
  • Improved ability to communicate wants and needs.
  • Less self – criticism
  • An awareness of, and an acceptance of the value of self, and a commitment to improve the quality of our lives at all levels, personal care, relationships, finances etc.
  • Action is the key to changing self – esteem building high  self – esteem is a process that takes time.

Here are some tips that may be helpful

  1. Start by looking at your relationship with self.
  2. Make a list of your positive qualities, look at your strengths.

Start daily positive affirmations

  • I am resourceful
  • I am loving
  • I am a positive person
  • I enjoy challenges.
  • Eat a balanced diet.
  • Exercise  on a daily basis walk for fifteen minutes a day.
  • Get involved in activities you love or take up a new hobby. do voluntary work . Self- esteem flourises when you are engaged in work and  activities you enjoy and make you feel good.

Depression Expanded

Most people have felt depressed at some stage in their lives.  Symptoms of depression include:

  • Feelings of sadness and hoplessness,
  • Difficulty with daily activites .
  • Difficuiculty concentrating, and changes in sleeping or eating patterns.
  • Not wanting to live, suicidal thoughts or thinking of death.
  • Walking up during the night or too early in the morning,oversleeping or trouble getting to sleep.
  • Depression is often preceded by a setback in life, such a loss of a job, ill health , bereavement etc..
  • Remember depression is a treatable condition . It affects 1 in 3 of us at some point in our lives.

If you or someone you know is living with depression and the  have  the symptoms above lasting  for  for more than two contact your G.P. or consult a qualified counsellor.

Grief, loss and separation Expanded

Grief is a process which takes time. Each person’s grief is unique and individual. Strong emotions like anger, sadness,etc are a natural and healthy part of grief.

Some of the different types of losses one may experience are:

  • People – death , divorce. seperation.
  • Possesions – fire, theft
  • Loss of identy- mental ,physcial, crisis
  • Unrecognised – misscarriage  relationship issues,
  • Infertility
  • Empty nest.

If your are bereaved allow yourself to go through the process, dont feel you have to hurry through it or suppress it or  shelf it for the sake of anyone else.

  1. Accept your grief
  2. Take time to cry
  3. Take care of yourself
  4. Talk about it

Writing: It is important to write all the unfinished business to the person who has died or whoever you address it to. Seek professional help if neccessary. Do not suffer alone.

Anxiety Expanded

  • Anxiety is an emotion
  • Everyone experiences anxiety
  • Anxiety is normal
  • Anxiety motivates us to confront or avoid the threat
  • Anxiety is something called the” fight of flight”response
  • Anxiety is a response to stress
  • Anxiety is only abnormal when it stops a person going about normal everday life i.e going to work, meeting people etc.

Some of the symptoms of anxiety are:

  • Physical symptoms
  • Aches and pains
  • Breathing difficulties
  • Bowel / urinary problems
  • Headaches
  • Persistent tiredness
  • Cognitive Symptoms
  • Black and white thinking
  • Fear
  • Guilt
  • Low self – esteem
  • Panic
  • Behavioural Symptoms
  • Aggressive outbursts
  • Restless
  • Changes in appetiate , sleep, alchol etc
  • Not going to work etc.
  • Anxiety Management
  • To reduce physical symptoms.

It is important to remember that you must deal with the effects of anxiety on your body before you can deal with the effects of anxiety on your thoughts and behaviour.

  • Learn to recognise tension  in yourself
  • Practice relaaxation
  • Enjoy exercise
  • Eat healthy
  • Managing anxious thoughts
  • Recognise anxiety for what it is
  • Coping thoughts (I can do this)
  • Challenging negative thoughts
  • Distraction (think of something pleasant)
  • Mananging behavioural symptoms
  • Have a plan
  • Learn yo say “NO”
  • Treat yourself